Bullshit

from by Doctor Striker

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Story Behind the Song

Well, I was with my friend, and I had had 3 tequila shots, and he asked me if I thought I could eat an entire bag of mushrooms.

I did eat the bag. I ate 10 grams of mushrooms.

Just so you know, the metabolite of alcohol, acetaldehyde, works as an MAOI, or monoamine oxidase inhibitor, which prolongs the effects of DMT and DMT like substances. Psilocybin is 4-PO-HO-DMT and its metabolite is Psilocin or 4-HO-DMT. So I calculated the equivalent dose of DMT by weight to get a trip that strong, and it was about 80mg. For 4 straight hours.

I broke through and died. Forever.

First of all, as a disclaimer, I highly recommend you DO NOT DO THIS. It was a terrible idea and I could've landed in the mental institution. It took me 2 weeks to recover from this.

So at about 15 minutes in, I was at where I normally peak on 3.5 grams. Then it got heavier and I had a panic attack.

Then I was fine.

Then the world started to swirl around me. I couldn't tell if my eyes were opened or closed.

Then I announced that I was "Going to be gone for a bit".

I closed my eyes, there was a nasty feedback loop sound like the world tore apart, and I was stuck in a void, completely disconnected from reality with flashing blue, green, and red lights everywhere.

I was still wearing my lab coat. No ego death, just felt like normal death.

I looked around for a bit. I walked through a bunch of rooms. I talked to my friends and family.

In one room I met California. She was a beautiful green woman made out of leaves and trees.

I said to her, "I want to be a rock star."

She said, "You already are a rock star."

I then repeated, "I want to be a rock star."

And she said, "You already are a rock star."

I said, "Ok. Cool."

I walked around a bit more.

Guinevere Q No-Big-Fucking-Deal said, "Doctor Striker thinks he's a capitalist, but I don't think he's a capitalist."

Those words got into my brain and bounced around my reality. I thought about how Capitalism is really just a giant pile of dominance and abuse dynamics. I understand dominance and abuse dynamics, but that doesn't mean that I like them. I'm still not certain if I'm a Capitalist. I am good at Capitalism, but that doesn't necessarily mean I like it. Capitalism is grey goo, there's a point where you realize you can just become a capitalist and be The Man, or you can keep getting fucked by everybody else who made the decision to become capitalists. I chose to be The Man.

Then in the last room I saw 3 demons that were made of sticks. They were shadows and black sticks, shaped like lightning bolts. They were inside of me and outside of me.

They said, "You're not worth it. You're a piece of shit. People only like you for what you do."

And I said, "I'm on a lot of drugs. You aren't real. I know time isn't moving at all and I'm stuck here forever, but time in reality is still moving and I'll be out of this at some point."

And they said "You're not worth it. You're a piece of shit. People only like you for what you do." For eternity. And I knew that if I believed them I would never return to my full self again.

And I stood there in my lab coat and I calmly told them that they weren't real.

And we did this for a million years.

And now I'm here.

lyrics

I
I lost my bullshit
I lost my bullshit
I kept my mind

I
I have no money
I hate my money
I kept my mind

I kept my mind

I
I had to panic
I had to panic
I kept my mind

I
I have no hatred
I hate my hatred
I kept my mind

credits

from The Man, released October 17, 2018

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